September 20, 2019 10 Comments Featured, Kamala Harris, Latest, News, Politics

7 Things You May Not Know About Kamala Harris


Before I get into the vaunted career of Kamala Harris, it’s time to clear a few things up:

There seems to be a misconception gaining popularity that Black People don’t need, or want the same level of assistance and protection from Law Enforcement that White People get. They believe we hate cops for upholding the law; that is a shit argument on its face. We don’t dislike decent cops. What we don’t like, want, or need are racist cops. Additionally, we REALLY don’t want or need all white Law Enforcement, Prosecutors, or Judges and Juries. We had that, remember? That’s how we got to this fucked up place on race. Now, on to better things.

Here are a few things you may not know about Kamala Harris:

1. Kamala Harris Was Known For Prosecuting Child Sex Predators, Rapists, Murderers, and Violent Criminals

You may have heard that all Kamala did was lock up parents of truant children, or bust kids smoking weed behind the relocatables. That’s bullshit, and I have ALREADY debunked it.

In 1989 Kamala Harris graduated from law school, and like many young prosecutors, she spent her share of years handling DUIs, petty thefts, and other misdemeanors. This is likely the only time she was dealing with the average pot smoker, ok? And as I have already written, anyone with a weed conviction has had that expunged from their record.

She eventually gained enough experience to do felony cases, and unlike the rumors of her spending her career locking innocent Black Women away suggests, her first assigned unit was the Homicide Unit. Later she moved to another unit, one that focused on sex crimes. Sadly, many of the cases she took on involved crimes against children. She continued in that role until 1998.

2. Kamala is NOT a COP.

I can see why Bernie Sanders’ campaign fears Kamala Harris, and I can also see why his Mayonnaise Revolution trolls harass black women with thirsty memes and crusty old lies. A thing some espouse is the idea that any black person who works in Law enforcement is a sell-out, and somehow more racist than Diamond and Silk, or the White People who work to keep White Supremacy in place. The truth is, those people are assholes and should please just shut the whole entire f*ck up, right fucking now. Also? They can take “Black Lives Matter” off of their profiles, since they believe in a White Only Criminal Justice system, have never attended a BLM rally, and never will.

I will not be going through the rigmarole of explaining how Cops are Cops, and Lawyers are Lawyers for you today, or likely, any other day.

3. Kamala Protested Her Apartment Compound As A Child; She Won

In “The Truths We Hold,” Kamala recounted the changes that happened when she was a middle school child. It was time to move and the family had to leave their beloved Oakland behind. Her mother was offered a job in Montreal teaching and conducting research, so the family packed up and moved to Canada. It’s hella cold in Canada. Like, extra fucking cold, y’all.

“She was writing letters to Nixon to stop the bombing in Vietnam before she could really write her name.” And yes, Gopalan Harris told me the famous story about Kamala organizing kids to protest the policy at her apartment complex that didn’t let children play outside; she won.

Apparently, taking Kamala to so many protests while she was still a stroller baby created an epic badass, and her sister Maya became one too. In Canada, when the landlord refused to allow kids to play soccer on the lawn, Kamala saw an injustice that she could not let stand, so she protested. Not only did she and Maya protest by holding demonstrations on the lawn, they apparently were damn good at organizing the other children. I don’t know how long they had to troll the guy to make him accept his L, but they got their wish. Kids got to play on that damn lawn.

Then, as now, Kamala doesn’t talk about fighting injustice, she doesn’t just pump her tiny power-fist in the air while nothing gets done. Kamala just fights until she wins.

4. Kamala Also Wore Leg Braces and Orthopedic Shoes As A Young Child

People see the glamorous Senator Harris so often, some seem to believe she was born perfect, like Venus, arising from the sea-foam like a goddess. Some others seem to think she was born a Baby Demon Cop of the Panopticon, eager to grow up and lock up every black man on earth. Do they think Baby Kamala was locking the other babies away into playpens for their baby crimes? Yes, probably.

The truth is, Kamala was the awkward one as a young child, she’s faced limitations, and struggled with self-doubt, as we all do.

Joan Walsh, The Nation:

Gopalan Harris also told me that when Kamala was young, she had to wear leg braces and orthopedic shoes—two hardships that undermined the image of effortless glamour the young attorney projected.

This may be one reason she advocates for full inclusion of those with limited abilities. Harris even put out her own plan to promote economic opportunity for the disabled community.

5. Kamala Harris Officiated The First Post DOMA Gay Wedding In California

Kamala Harris Defends Gay marriage

From The Advocate:

After the Supreme Court gave the green light for marriages in California, Hollingsworth v. Perry plaintiffs Kris Perry and Sandy Stier became the state’s first same-sex couple to marry after Prop. 8 was tossed. Attorney General Harris officiated the ceremony.

Notice a pattern? She WINS. Did you watch the clip? She didn’t have to rhetorically murder that man who tried to debate her on CNN that night. Harris could have let him get away with a few dumb ass fake statements. We know she didn’t have to make him look SOOOOO stupid, so why did she punch down? I believe she did it because he deserved it for being so dead ass wrong all up on TV. Imagine Harris debating Trump?

Y’all, I believe he may cry. I hope she licks his tears. Woman up, Democrats!

Fuck being nice to the GOP.

6. Kamala’s Sister Maya Officiated Her Wedding

From Modesto Bee:

California Attorney General Kamala Harris and attorney Douglas Emhoff were married Friday at the courthouse in Santa Barbara, her office said.
The attorney general’s sister, Maya Harris, officiated.
The wedding comes five months after Harris and Emhoff, partner in charge of the law firm Venable LLP’s Los Angeles office, were engaged.

I just think this is sweet as hell.

7. Kamala Failed The Bar Exam On Her First Try

Kamala Harris is known for being prepared, much like Hillary Clinton. Nevertheless, there was that one time she may have phoned it in after college. She didn’t study as hard as necessary, therefore she failed the Bar Exam. Poor Kamala had to watch her peers begin their careers as full-fledged lawyers, all the while being relegated to a clerk position until she re-tested. That time she passed.

So, there you have it, folks! I don’t know if any of this was new to any of you, but I do know that she doesn’t get nearly enough credit for her record. And quite frankly the attacks never end. I didn’t have time to debunk all of the attacks on her, there may not be enough time left in the universe to do so. Regardless, I will say one thing:

If Donald Trump is a criminal, don’t you think we need a badass prosecutor to make the case against him? I certainly do.


It’s about time we retired the dead horse of a talking point about Kamala being a cop before I slap someone. Thank God they say it on the internet and not to my face. I’m not sure I could hold my pimp hand back long enough for the look on my face to scare Chad back to Bakersfield. Sure, my face may say, “I will eat your fucking face-off, Chad, fuck outta here!” but Chads are rather dumb and thrillseeking these days. There have never been stupider people on this planet. Good Fucking God.

I don’t give a shit if Kamala literally drove around in a patrol car zealously busting bad guys, all the while laughing a sinister neoliberal laugh. Quite frankly, I, like most black people, fucking hate crime. Yes. We do.

We are over-represented among victims of violent crime; in 2017 the CDC released a report showing that Black Women are murdered at the highest rate of all women (4.4 per 100,000), followed by Native American Women (4.3 per 100,000). We don’t want to die. Because we don’t like dying. Also, we want to LIVE.

Regardless, if we are killed, we need women like Kamala to speak for us and get a small measure of peace for our families, closure for our children, and Justice for The People.

See y’all next time.


Everyone should donate to my KHive survival fund, and I’ll try to survive the VP selection and not curse Joe for making it like The Bachelor.