Bernie Sanders’ “Path To Victory” Is In The Same Place As The “Real Killers” O.J. Simpson Is “Searching” For
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Have you seen Bernie Sanders’ “Path to Victory” laying around anywhere? For weeks Dems have been searching high and low, in brooks and streams, on hillsides and mountaintops, down in the valleys and on the high plains, from sea to shining sea, yet we cannot find Bernie’s way. We’ve asked and asked, sent in our most fearless interrogators, we have even asked his team, all to no avail; Bernies mysterious path to victory eludes even the most dogged Dem detectives. From Bernie-world we hear cries of sorrow and squeaks of outrage; how dare we call on Bernie to drop out when not every state has voted? Do we not even care a little for Democracy? This is between THEIR cries for Biden to drop out, usually due to some health condition invented on the spot. We patiently explain math to the masses of angry Bernie people we find braying and howling in our mentions, we explain how unlikely it is that people will flip to Bernie from Biden. Again, all to no avail. Bernie Sanders claims to have a “narrow” path to victory. Who are Berners to believe? Me or his lying lies? Besides, Bernie would never play games, if he says he can win (I imagine Berners think this), then GODDAMMIT HE CAN WIN!!
Many say Bernie is a truth teller, not a self centered old codger who just missed his last chance to hold Presidential power. I disagree.
Bernie Sanders is absolutely full of shit. Ever since he lost the Michigan contest so epically to Joe Biden in March, Bernie has been touting his “narrow path to victory” to anyone willing to put him on the air, or give him the undeserved attention he so desperately craves. But, when asked what exactly that path looks like, Bernie gets mad, and Bernie’s staff gets quieter than a group of mimes at the library during “shut the fuck up” time. Indeed, you can’t get directions to this path from any known map, you can’t get it told to you by enlightened Berners, Bernie’s staff won’t point it out, and Bernie himself will not fucking tell you no matter how many times you ask.
Much like O.J. Simpson searching for the “real killers” of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman, Bernie’s fruitless path will lead right back to himself, after winding its way aimlessly around the nation. Let’s hope Bernie doesn’t hit up Vegas and find out someone has some of his stolen memorabilia.
Bernie Sanders insists he has a “narrow path” to the nomination. But he and his aides refuse to say what it is.
I oscillate between laughter at the people still in thrall to Belated Bernie, and irritation AT Bernie for playing these stupid games; if there really is a path, it cannot possibly be so difficult to explain that you lose your ability to speak when its mentioned. Bernie’s comeback was supposed to begin in Michigan, a state he won in 2016, yet lost so decisively last month that he lost every single county. Michigan was supposed to be his salvation, he even went there to deliver a speech on race that he didn’t bother to deliver. For a man who has been CENTERED in the Civil Rights Movement, to the point where Black Leaders have been denounced by The Revolution as “sell outs”, or “selling us all out” for not choosing to support the only person in the race with photos of Bruce Rappaport doing civil rights work, Bernie is terrible at even discussing race. So, I guess he chose not to bother trying to get better in the five years he’s had to fix his issues with Black People, much easier to let PoC speak for you. Maybe soon we can be centered in our own movements again? Yeah. Wish in one hand…
A majority of the states and territories yet to vote rejected him in 2016. The national polls don’t offer much hope either — since Joe Biden defeated him in Arizona, Florida and Illinois on March 17, Sanders has trailed him by double-digits in every single national survey.
At this time Biden is polling ahead of Sanders in Alaska (My State) 57 to 43, in Wisconsin Biden is up by as much as 30% in some polls and 538 has his odds of winning at 88%. Biden is also forecast to win Puerto Rico, Ohio, Kansas, Guam, Nebraska, Oregon, Hawaii, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Maryland, Indiana, Connecticut, New Mexico, Rhode Island, Delaware, District of Columbia, Montana, South Dakota, Virgin Islands, West Virginia, Louisiana, New York, and Kentucky. This is all the states we have left. Where the fuck is that path to victory?
Whoopi Goldberg grilled Sanders on “The View,” pushing him to explain how he could still capture the nomination. He never spelled it out, instead arguing that “people in a democracy have a right to vote and have a right to vote for the agenda that they think can work for America, especially in this very, very difficult moment.”
Wow, how clever. Does this mean people actually have the right to vote for whatever agenda they think will work best, or is this just some shit the losing side says to convince themselves that their cause is so noble, so integral, that it’s worth potentially handing Trump the White House for another 4 years? Let’s keep it all the entire way real; Bernie knows many people believe his staying in the race long after it was clearly fucking over made it extremely hard for Hillary to unite the party, and it pisses him off when anyone alludes to it. So, why the fuck does he look like he’s about to repeat the same dumb ass shit this year?
His path is so narrow that some of Sanders’ senior aides have even advised him to consider dropping out, though not everyone in his inner circle feels the same way, according to people familiar with the situation.
COME ON, BRO!!! Your own staffers are telling you it’s over, and they are your favorite type of staffers–men. Why aren’t you at least listening to Clown ass Weaver? You LOVE Clowns! You hired Nina, Brie Brie, and Corny to prove it.
Another possible reason for not explaining his long-shot course to victory: it depends on something his staff and allies have for the most part only whispered about — an epic Biden collapse.
This is the real reason Bernie is staying in and I find it super fucked up. The only ones trying to manufacture a collapse of that magnitude are Bernie’s very own supporters, who behave more like a hit squad than like stalwart fans. Daily we have obnoxious bros in our mentions pushing some half cocked bullshit that mysteriously begins trending overnight, and dies down during the day. Oh, sure, it could really be thousands of Berners up late organically causing hashtags to trend, but it’s not fucking likely.
Here is what Bernie is after:
It is especially important to these Sanders supporters to maintain the rule changes they achieved in 2016, such as barring superdelegates from voting for presidential candidates on the first ballot. In order for his backers to have negotiating power, they said, Sanders needs to receive at least 1,200 delegates — he has more than 900 now — so they can introduce minority resolutions. They also hope that Sanders can push Biden to commit to progressive appointments.
No, no no no no no double fuck you all to hell NO. Fuck NO. Fuck YOU. Progressive appointments? FUCK OFF. Biden doesn’t need any of you back stabbing, ball biting bitches running game on him within his administration. Do you SEE the shit y’all are posting about him? The DUMBEST thing Biden could do is trust ANY of the Berniecrats as far as I could throw Donald Trump.
“The party reforms go down the drain if he doesn’t stay in,” said Cohen, adding that if he drops out before hitting 1,200 delegates, “it’s going to be Biden’s people writing the platform, that’s it.”
Good. I hope we hold Bernie Sanders below 1200 for one simple reason. Bernie Sanders is an asshole and the rule changes were made in hopes of settling some differences and moving forward in unity, without all of the claims of cheating and rigging, yet that is not how things went. Instead, we have Bernie’s loudest surrogates and supporters spreading nasty rumors and assassinating the character of the likely nominee, all in hopes it will stain Biden so bad he will have to withdraw and let Bernie be nominee. THIS IS EXTREMELY UNLIKELY.
If you’re upset with Sanders for not dropping out, there is no need to lose hope or feel like all is lost; staying in the race has the potential to be damaging to Sanders’ movement, possibly completely neutering the left of left, and it would be all their own dumb ass faults.
But what if, this time around, he sticks it out and there are no more primary wins, or even near-misses? What if it’s just one landslide defeat after another?
If the late stage of the ’16 primary season enhanced his clout, would finishing up now with a string of lopsided losses actually diminish Sanders and his movement?
Unlike in 2016, Bernie is unlikely to win ANY more states, so that momentum argument they used to “prove” Bernie Woulda Won, would instead prove Bernie Shoulda Not Run. Many voters who chose Bernie Sanders in 2016 have chosen to go with Joe Biden in 2020; Bernie’s base has only gotten smaller as the years have passed, and cries of “Feel the Bern!” have been replaced with memes of “Ridin’ with Biden.” I don’t like to state the O B V I O U S, but most Dems looking for a cool grandpa to hitch a ride to better times with, have already held their thumb out at Uncle Joe’s “No Malarkey Express” this cycle. Look, nothing short of death or a miracle will prevent Joe Biden from being our nominee, it might be wise if Bernie signaled this to his base very soon. Like yesterday,