Liz Warren Might Wanna Ask Pete How To Get Some Wine Cave Cash
Funds are getting funny around the Warren camp and Queen Liz is sounding the alarms, ringing the bells, and proclaiming her poverty to all and sundry. We are all used to Liz and her tales of terrible times and pernicious poverty that really just amount to what we black folks like to call “everyday life.” Already faced with the case of “Was Liz’s Dad a Janitor or a Maintenance Man” starring an old friend of her brother’s who likes to serve up the tea, Liz is now facing a Tragic Fate. Gone is the endless supply of small dollar donors, and steady dropping in the polls, Liz is having some problems raising the moolah to keep her campaign ahead of the Dreaded Mayor Pete. Liz says donations are down by 30%, and she is whisper yelling at all of her subjects to deliver more money to the Crown posthaste, or deal with her tiny powerfist of fury!! Lol, just kidding.
“So far this quarter, we’ve raised a little over $17 million,” the email says. “That’s a good chunk behind where we were at this time last quarter.”
Could this be due to people actually needing to spend their money on holiday items for their own families and not really being super interested in sacrificing their shit for her bullshit? Or maybe her most loyal donors are maxing out due to her endless fundraising requests? Is it too hard on the average American to have to pay to run these super expensive and long as fuck political campaigns that suck your money up like a Las Vegas casino? Probably.
This is true; Warren’s campaign raised $24.6 million in the third quarter, second to only Sen. Bernie Sanders‘ (I-Vt.) campaign, which brought in over $25 million.
It was very stupid of Liz to hitch her wagon to the Bernie Style Fundraising Train; she has been performing terribly at the debates, her plans are not universally loved, and she is struggling with black voters again, and maybe always was. With Kamala Harris out of the race, Liz was probably hoping it would boost her own campaign. Pobrecita. Ha! I asked the K-hive what we should do once Kamala left, and most said, “Not Liz.” So, yeah, that boost didn’t happen, and my role has been to try to steer people to Biden and hope for VP for Kamala. If Liz had been hoping to profit from Kamala’s loss? HAHAHAHAHA! Nope. Fuck off.
The Massachusetts senator took a swing at Buttigieg, saying, in reference to a private donor event Buttigieg hosted in Napa Valley, “Billionaires in wine caves should not pick the next president of the United States.”
Liz Warren has totally been feeling herself since the last debate where she thought she took it to Mayor Pete over his method of raising funds for his Presidential campaign. For some strange reason, the Liz inspired media and roving hordes of white feminists on Social Media seemed to believe Liz won that exchange, even though she lost.
I am NOT a Pete lover. But let’s keep it all the fucking way real, he won that shit hands down. She sounded like she was his Mommy giving him a lecture to “Do as I say, not as I do.” Her constant lectures on morality are grating as hell, and it is tiresome as hell to watch her pretend to be the only one in the party that cannot be influenced by mere money. Everyone is corrupt besides Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, even though neither passes their own purity tests.
Her attack strategy has somewhat backfired on her, as it was revealed after the fact that Warren herself had hosted a wealthy donor event in Boston that featured a souvenir wine bottle the summer before she announced her candidacy for president.
That’s how we know she lost. Everything she accused Pete of was something she was guilty of doing herself in recent memory, but the second she had herself an epiphany, everyone was supposed to adhere to her new rules. Who the fuck does Auntie MeeMaw think she is? Regardless, her supporters in the media and out of the media immediately freaked the fuck out and began trashing him from all sides while defending La Warren like they were the Goddamn Queensguard.
“Pete only talked like that to the WOMEN!!” (The women were trying to kick his ass. Was he supposed to lick their taints and say, “Yes, Milady.”? FOH.)
“Pete’s PARENTS were PROFESSORS!!” (Um, ok?)
“Pete hates women!!” (Sigh.)
“Why are you defending PETE? You’re the first one who was MEAN to him!! (Cause y’all trippin’.)
Yet and Still, they proclaimed Liz the winner…
Do the supporters of the winner take to social media to proclaim how MEAN the loser is and try to find sexism in every goddamn thing that was said on stage? Do they block like mad and write long and emotional diatribes about how Privileged the white, male, in debt, gay, Mayor of a small town is in comparison to the wealthy, white, millionaire woman who got away with pretending to be a minority on Affirmative Action Surveys until 2004? I should say not!! Especially when their candidate’s campaign started $10, 000, 000 ahead thanks to those very same type of fundraisers.
Now, I will say that Pete has had many privileges bestowed upon him by society compared to one such as Kamala Harris, and even a few male ones compared to Liz. But Liz also has advantages over him. Even Pete will agree that Black women have it rough as fuck, especially in politics. So, how can we be expected to take the Warrenites seriously when not a goddamn one of these women opened their fucking mouths to say shit the fuck all about the systemic disadvantages faced by Kamala Harris? We can’t. We won’t. She better ask Pete how to get some of that Wine Cave Cash, cause she ain’t got shit coming from us, we ain’t paying for her Struggle Feminism Campaign.
Until next time….