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Spoiled British Tabloids Big Mad Meghan Markle Won’t Let Them Kill Her, Like They Killed Prince Harry’s Mum

Spoiled British Tabloids Big Mad Meghan Markle Won’t Let Them Kill Her, Like They Killed Prince Harry’s Mum

Mark Jones, CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons

British Tabloids, and their biscuit chinned, scone eating readers are all up in chilblain covered, freckled arms over Duchess Meghan Markle suing for her freedom papers – er, I mean her privacy rights. Not only did Markle win a recent case over a letter she had written to her father, but she also announced the impending birth of her second child with her husband, Prince Harry. As you recall, Dear Readers, it was the very lack of a right to PRIVACY that caused the death of Princess Di, when the overzealous, insanely vicious, rabid British paparazzi chased the late Mother of Prince Harry and his brother down, and caused the accident that took her life. Meghan Markle has taken a few of these loony smear merchants to court, likely hoping to keep them at bay, and keep her own life intact. She apparently likes living, maybe wants her children to grow up with a mother, and for her husband to grow old with his wife. Which would be her.

Unlike most members of the Royal Family, Markle has worked most of her adult life, so she doesn’t feel like she has to make nice with the extremely racist British Press in order to justify her lifestyle. This causes some very sad, mad, and bad people to be super extra when it comes to Meghan Markle, because she’s not “Traditional.” How they justify being saditty victims when reporting on everything she does in her private life, while not reporting on the shady past actions of a certain favored son of the current queen, I’ll never understand. Yet that is what they’ve done since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, hopped on the first thing smoking, in order to get the entire fuck away from them. You see, Meghan wasn’t about to let the racist ass British Pappers do to Harry’s wife, what they’d already done to his mother: Kill Her.

Yes. I said it, and if anyone has a problem with that, I will say it again, just louder and more shittily. I have zero qualms about taking on the entirety of the British Tabloid Press by myself. (Come at me, bro!) What can they do to me that they haven’t already done to Meghan? Besides, the likelihood of anyone even reading a blog post by some blogger in the tundra, who never even blogs, is extremely low. So, the fact of the matter is, I can say whatever I want to about people like that disgusting Piers Morgan, who shit on Meghan because she wouldn’t date him, and nobody will come back to condemn me with notes I wrote during 2nd period at Service High School when I was in 10th grade.

As you likely don’t remember, I’ve written about the issue of the Paparazzi killing  women Prince Harry loves before, and since I’m hoping for a Girl Baby from them, I feel like its time to come together like butt cheeks, and push back against the Mommy killers before they get her into their evil little clutches.

Here is an excerpt from the last time I wrote about the couple:

Oh well. There are a bunch of nasty people, like Piers Morgan, who are fucked up in the extreme, and blame Meghan for stealing Harry from his home and family, but let’s keep it all the way real, it was those exact people that made it impossible for them to stay. The Duchess has already made her way to Canada, a place that still has ties to Britain since Queen Elizabeth is the Monarch of Canada, and in theory owns most of the land. So, while not completely out from under the thumb of the Royal family, at least they’ll be in a place with only 9 people per square mile and I highly doubt the British tabloid will set up an outpost just to shitpost about the Duchess from. If that does happen, the British paparazzi might wanna think twice about fucking with her on this side of the pond. Because if they do, I will be organizing a Meg-Hive to drive those bastards just as fucking crazy as they tried to dive her. On my mama, I ain’t never lied. We’ll do it. Immediately, Bitches

As you can see, I’ve known for a long time that it would come to this; we would eventually have to stand up to the British Press for her ourselves. When I wrote about the Wedding, I was so overjoyed and loving the love, that I forgot what type of racist bullshit she’d be in store for. Oh, I didn’t assume she wouldn’t be subject to any of it, I just assumed it wouldn’t be so goddamn ugly, vicious, and oppressive as it is.

I mean, her wedding did almost murder all White People, so I knew they’d be a bit peeved:

So what exactly is killing off white people in such extremely high numbers that we are now faced with the crisis of not having any white people left on earth? Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got married. To each other. Not only did they get married, but they are also sixth in line to the throne. It’s a Blackpocalypse! Hug your white children. The bishop was too black, her mother was too black, SHE was too black, the choir was too black, and horror of horrors, there were black celebrities there, and they beat Whitey at beer pong at the afterparty.

Remember when her “exotic” blood was going to wipe the White Man off the face of the earth? Good times.

From Wonkette:

Now this may come as a shock to the millions and millions of white people running around on earth, but apparently, having a black Duchess is the worst thing ever done to white people ever in history. Just ask the deranged idiots at the alt-right hate site The Daily Stormer. Or don’t ask them because you really don’t want to hear their bullshit whining about how oppressed they are every time a minority cracks a smile on a sunny day. Or marries a white person, which is totally murder. Which makes Nazis cry sweet delicious tears of defeat that we can drink like the veriest nectar, so we are pretty satisfied with the outcome.

This time I have their Past Performance Data, and plan to use it as a reminder that Meghan needs defending, just like Kamala needed it. So, like a pack of hungry lionesses, an assorted group of KHivers will be looking at the British rags and seeing a bunch of extremely slow moving, fat zebras, just dawdling around the waterhole.

Let’s discuss how hysterically the Daily Mail has handled the news that Meghan Markle is having another baby they cannot victimize.

They started out okay with the first article, just a few micro aggressions here and there. Then came article number 2 half a day later, and let’s just say they can be some Petty bitches, and not in a good way.

  • Harry and Meghan’s child will be entitled to American citizenship if born in US

  • Duke expected to go to UK this summer to see family for first time since ‘Megxit’

  • Meghan already said to be unlikely to join for ‘personal and practical’ reasons

  • Royal experts are concerned that Queen and Prince Philip may never meet baby 

“Just look at how that evil, BLACK, hussy is keeping her precious, revenue driving, American baby away from us– I mean, the Queen, away from the Queen, and his poor Grandpappy, Prince Charles.” This is what I heard in my head. That’s pretty mild, because they hadn’t found a decent victim to accuse the Duchess of harming yet, but they would find one soon enough.

New mother Princess Eugenie no doubt has her hands full with her baby son, but royal fans have rushed to her defense on social media claiming that the news of Meghan Markle’s pregnancy has stolen her thunder for the second time.

Oh, for the love of GAWD!

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, who currently reside in California, announced yesterday that they were expecting their second child, five days after Princess Eugenie, 30 and Jack Brooksbank, 34, welcomed a baby boy on Tuesday, and only two days after Eugenie was discharged from hospital. 

Fans on Twitter said that Harry and Meghan should have waited longer to break the news of their pregnancy, in order to let Eugenie have her moment and release the first images of her newborn and his name first. 

So, yesterday, all of these pasty, biscuit-head having oppressors jumped on their swaybacked nags, and rode out to White Knight for Princess Eugenie, who likely did not give the tiniest fuck about them and their bullshit. Having a baby is fucking exhausting, which is likely why she hasn’t bothered to announce the name of her child, or release any classy, non-baby sleep deprived photos of herself and her bundle of joy. She is probably asleep right now, only it’s the unsatisfying sleep we get when our hormone filled bodies make our boobies squirt milk whenever our newborn chirrin’ make the slightest squawk. Yet, despite the lack of atta boys from Princess Eugenie of the “Let me sleep, damnit!” wing of the Royal Family, the stupid ass Daily Mail must take up the rallying cry, and criticize Meghan for the crime of being in love on Valentine’s day, and sharing a bit of news that she could not hide for much longer.

No matter what date she’d chosen, that whack ass anti-Black rag would have found some way to smear Markle as some evil Maleficent style villainess, for no good reason. It’s as if there is nothing Meghan Markle can do to cool their wrath, besides learning that her place is beneath everyone on that misbegotten island. Lucky for us all, we cast off their stupid ass aristocracy centuries ago, and like our ancestors who kicked their asses out of America, we aren’t about to put up with their dumb ass rules for one second.

Meghan Markle can do whatever the fuck she wants to do, when she wants to do it, and where she wants to do it. She’s a free Black woman, and will be free from this day, until her last day. We do as we fucking please in America. And why not? It’s just the American Way. A bunch of dumplings from merry olde England can never take that away. So, stop whining, Daily Fail, you’re obviously full of shit, everyone can see it.

 

Until Next Time

 

If you liked this piece, donate a few bucks to keep the servers on, and I’ll write more. 

3 Comments

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  1. You are soooo right! Thanks for writing about all the fuckery that the British Press is doing. Also, your writing is delightful and surprising!. Loved …”the first thing smoking”.

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