Bernie Bro Civil War 2020: The Mansplain-Off

Medieval knights fight with sword and axe

Medieval knights fight with sword and axe

Hello, and welcome back for another edition of “Bernie Bro Civil War,” I am your host Bianca, let’s get started, shall we? If you do not know what a Bernie Bro civil war looks like, that’s okay. There is no need to KNOW anything during a Bernie Bro war, honestly it’s best to know nothing. Knowing things means “Learning Things” in our world, but in their world NOT knowing things counts just as much as knowing things. So, why bother with all that pesky learning when we can just wing it like they do? As for the Civil War, the combatants were none other than our TYT host known for doin’ the most, Cenk Uygur, and “Bore to the Core” Jimmy Dore.

Before we get started, I’ll give you a bit of explanation from none other than our own Sally Albright. Sally has spent years observing Bernie Bros in their own natural habitat, Twitter. Bros are taking sides, and it’s super unclear WTF is going on. When this happens, contact Sally.

In case some of you are wondering about the Great Bernie Bro Civil War of 2020, let me break it down for you.
#ForceTheVote is yet another temper tantrum over the pony Bernie promised them that they didn’t get.
Yes, the Civil War is over medicare for all, and this time it’s the TYT people trying to hold back Crazy Jimmy. Maybe they know they’ll be blamed for any bullshit. I will blame them.
Jimmy Dore, a Bernie activist with a podcast, is encouraging AOC and her Squad to threaten to withhold their votes for Nancy and make McCarthy Speaker if Nancy doesn’t promise to hold a vote on M4A.
This is extremely fucking stupid.
Other Bernie Bold Face Names with their own podcasts like Cenk Uygur say it won’t work and it’s a waste of political capital and that would make The Squad and the Bernie Left look weak and ineffective, and even if it works, the vote will fail. (All true.)
Well, duh. Of course. Not only that, but it will prove Abigail Spanberger and the GOP right about how much she helps the GOP.
Dore says it SO TOTALLY WILL work, and even if the vote fails, it “starts a conversation” and all the Members who vote No will lose in 2022 because reasons, and says Cenk and anyone refuses to blackmail Nancy and the Democrats is a neoliberal corporate whore.
There, now you’re caught up. Sit back, pop some popcorn, and enjoy the show.

Let’s open up the event with a bit of mindless drivel from the lovely Briahna Joy Gray, or BJG as she styles herself now.

How is it an indictment on House Democrats that their constituents aren’t pressuring them to vote for M4A? Doesn’t that just say all capsing “YOU WANT POOR PEOPLE TO DIE!!” at Dems isn’t the best sales tactic? I understand that y’all live in a bubble. But, please get out more, kay? I mean post pandemic.

On to the main event. Apparently Jimmy has been hounding Cenk about “Force the Vote”, and Cenk is getting annoyed. Because Jimmy is annoying. Cenk thinks it would be stupid to make Kevin McCarthy Speaker of the House just for Chapo’s Trap House clout.

Apparently Jimmy took some pot shots at a lady, Ana Kasparian, who wasn’t even in the conversation, because it’s Dore. It’s just his way. I like how he hashtagged child at him like I have to do Berniebros. Can irony catch on fire? I hope not.

Apparently Cenk has this exact plan Jimmy does, only he doesn’t want to use it on the Speaker’s vote, because FUCK KEVIN MCCARTHY. Hard to disagree. I hate that part. The agreeing with Cenk part. Not fun.


I mean, he’s basically trying to lead a fool out of oncoming traffic.

See what I mean by fool? Force the vote and then what? Nobody knows.

Cenk had to come out and spank his flank too, cause Jimmy made him self conscious with his prestige.


Oh, here is the attack on Kasparian!! And lo and behold the entirely stupid attack that it is!!

She took a photo with a public figure, oh how could she? This is SUCH A BORING WAR.

Oh, he’s mad at Cenk because “capitalism.” Look how similar the attacks are no matter who they aim them at? If Dore made one dollar more than Uygur, well, we’d see Cenk pull this same ass card, now wouldn’t we? We would.

LOL! This is funny. Cenk doesn’t like Jimmy getting personal, so he does the whole “i made you” shit that will likely infuriate Dore. So, I can predict with flawless accuracy, that Dore will be wildin’ again today. Expect plenty more Jimmy Dore, a bit more Cenk with his attitude all stank, and more of me enjoying the entire thing from the leftist wing. So, kids, the moral of this story is, Bernie Bros suck.


Until next time.


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Trashbag Tomi Lahren Was AOC For Halloween Also She’s An Idiot Who Once Said Kamala Slept Her Way To The Top

Tinky Larem, well known right-wing troll who has her own Fox Nation show, is a fucking idiot. No shit, she was already an idiot, I know that, just let me tell you what had happened. So, this corny chic was hanging out, likely by her damn self because who would be friends with that, when Lo and Behold! She hit upon an idea. This doesn’t happen often for her. Please clap. Tini decided she would dress up as someone very scary, someone dangerous, someone…dusky. Like most right wing trolls, Tupo Larenge is not very creative in her fears, so she couldn’t simply dress up as Roger “The Babadook” Stone like a normal person who wants to scare the shit out of children and adults alike. Oh No! That would be too goddamn clever, and like I said, she is an idiot.

No, the babadook was out, but like Liz Warren, Tangi had “A Plan.”

Fox Nation host Tomi Lahren chose to dress up “as the thing that scares me most” for Halloween: Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York.

How fucking stupid are you, Tillie? You’re SCARED of AOC, like, for real? She’s like 98 pounds and sounds like a History Teacher or a Science Teacher, but the nice one who would write you hall passes that she knew you had no legit reason to ask for. I may not be the biggest AOC fan since that thing she did that I’m not going to mention. But it’s damn sure not because she scares me. She would have to be effective in Congress for that to happen. Not to be an asshole, but she’s not.

“I’m not afraid of ghouls, ghosts, zombies or political incorrectness,” she wrote in the Instagram post below. “I am far more terrified AOC was actually elected to the United States Congress. Talk about a haunted House.”

Hardee har har! Bish… You are not fucking funny. And if your ass had put one more smidge of bronzer on, it was finna be on on sight. Not fucking playing with y’all. I’d have her ass dressing up as ME next year. I love how she put political incorrectness out there like it’s something Liberals fear? It’s not.

While her Instagram fanbase, which totals 1.6 million followers, mostly cheered the outfit choice, it didn’t seem to go over very well on Twitter.

Yeah. Apparently all of her Instagram followers are idiots too. I hate to say this but, Thank GOD for Twitter. Twitter does not play.


Awwww! Isn’t she extra nice to AOC at Tommo’s expense? I mean, I probably wouldn’t pour the special sauce on so thick, not after what AOC did, but, cool cool.

OMFG. This is the best one.

OH MY FUCKING GAWD! No, THIS is the best one. Straight up.


Y’all… Why did you MURDER Tinko Lopen??? GOOD JOB! She’s DIED. Maybe this will teach her ass a lesson. Every single time this dipshit starts a beef with anyone darker than a powdered donut, she gets her ass dog walked like a chihuahua with the shits. I remember one time she came at Kamala Harris and we had to wreck her ass. So what if it’s punching down. Our arms reached, didn’t they?

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Tomi Lahren had to apologize to Kamala Harris on Twitter for saying she “slept her way to the top” a few days ago.

Nobody gives a shit about Tummy’s dumb ass stupid fucking apology. We care about Kamala Harris.


[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Timon. Kamala Harris had to win millions of votes, are you saying she slept with everyone? Because if so, I feel left the fuck out, Kamala! I’m filing a Grievance. I want what I’m owed.[/perfectpullquote]

Yeah, fuck her. Go read the fucking link.

The moral of THIS story, is don’t be a garbage bag filled with hot catshit like Tinki Larynx and your ass won’t catch fade in cyberspace. Also, don’t be a goddamn conservative and try to make any fucking jokes. They are not good at that at the fuck all. Nobody laughs at their joke who you’d ever want to laugh WITH. We laugh AT those “people.”

If you want people to like you and like your costume, try to be more like this weird ass guy who made me laugh and laugh, and imma watch it again.