My Sh*tty Pillow CEO Banned From Twitter Permanently for Being Batsh*t Crazy

A trump cameo in the dirt

Photo by Max Letek on Unsplash

Hello, and welcome to the 1st annual Batshit Crazy Olympics. I’m your host, Bianca de la Rosa, and I am soooo enjoying the predictable, yet ever delicious series of meltdowns from MAGAnon. When QANON and MAGA merged into that incestuous bamboozle of Insurrectiony Sedition, I had no idea that the Treason Weasels would melt the fuck down so entirely gloriously. Well, I should have known, because my neighbor had 4 huge ass Trump banners on his chain link fence until he caught me laughing and pointing at his house and calling him a Klondike Klanner. Then he took the two facing my house down, and hasn’t been able to look me in the face since. But, don’t worry, he still has two up, because, check it: Trump can still win this thing. Or so my neighbor thinks.

Another old fuck who still probably has his Trump 2020 “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!” banner up is the soon to be late (Probably, okay?), not great, Mr. Mike Lindell. Twitter has finally drop kicked the My Pillow CEO, Lindell, the hell off it’s platform, and they don’t plan on ever reinstating him after his antics this past week. This may have been a long time coming since the social media giant has already issued a statement about the shitty pillow Mogul, where they confirmed that his ban is most certainly a permanent thing.

A spokesperson for Twitter said, “This account was suspended for repeated violations of our civic integrity policy.” Twitter confirmed late Monday that the ban on the entrepreneur from Minnesota is a permanent one.

Lindell has been a vocal backer of Trump, and reports surfaced earlier this month that he suggested the president declare martial law in the wake of what he saw as widespread election fraud.

Lindell alleged that the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion Voting Systems were part of a conspiracy to rig the election against Trump. Upon threat of lawsuit from Dominion, Lindell told the New York Times: “I would really welcome them to sue me because I have all the evidence against them.”

Oh, please, Mike. You have not managed to produce a fucking thing in the past two months, so you’d best be quiet before they make good on their lawsuit threat. I don’t know how you’ll manage to sell enough of those flat as fuck, yet surprisingly lumped up pillows, to pay the restitution and whatnot, so… No, really. Keep going, I like where this is headed.

Lindell is known to be considering a possible run for governor of Minnesota in 2022. The ban from Twitter would complicate his effort to reach voters.

Is everyone we don’t like running for Governor of somewhere? We have that liar, Sarah Huckabee Sanders running in Arkansas, and now this pillow fool wants to run in Minnesota. It would be just our luck if Trump decided to make his lackey DeSantis resign so he could run for Governor of Florida immediately.

Last year, Twitter held to its permanent ban of Laura Loomer despite her winning the Republican primary in a long-shot bid for Florida’s 21st Congressional District. “The account owner you referenced was permanently suspended for repeated violations of the Twitter Rules, and we do not plan to reverse that enforcement action,” the company said in a statement at the time.

Hahahahahaha! Remember when Laura Loomer handcuffed herself to the door at Twitter, but it could still open and close so they decided to just ignore her? That was some funny ass shit.

https://twitter.com/willsommer/status/1068244727298953216

Lol! Maybe Trump, Loomer, My Pillow Guy, and Milo Yiannopoulos can all get together and do a class action lawsuit and force Twitter to let them back on? Yeah, no, I fucking doubt Twitter would even give them the time of day, and the courts are unlikely to side with them regardless of the Office of the Former President attempting to use his limited power to force the issue. It’s interesting how being banned from Twitter instantly turns republicans into straight up clowns. The purge is not over yet, so lets see who gets banned by the time we all wake up tomorrow. The quicker we silence and marginalize these QAnon Clowns, the quicker we can get back to regular GOP bullshit like Benghazi.