Everyone That Stood Up To Hillary For Tulsi Needs To Have About A Million Seats

File:Hillary Clinton official Secretary of State portrait crop.jpg

Time for everyone to have infinity seats.

For days I have watched people become increasingly more hysterical over La Hillary saying some perfectly reasonable things, which apparently is illegal. For one, she basically called Jill Stein what she is–“a Russian asset” lol, or in layman’s terms, “A Useful Idiot.” Next, she went in on Tulsi Gabbard for there being suspect websites in favor of her and high level of troll activity supporting her. This is something I don’t even need to fact check. I know it’s true. I get trolled by these unamerican accounts all the time; they all either have accts that were dormant for years that suddenly woke up this spring or summer, or they are brand new accounts that appear to have been created specifically to troll Democrats, especially me, and my followers in the K-Hive. This could because they love trolling all of the people who were on the “Tulsi Gabbard Twitter Enemy List” last spring, and I was lucky enough to reach number 22. Only number 22? How lame. I deserve better treatment.

Yeah, I was robbed, that much is clear, and it was unfair. I submit that I should have been much higher on the list (a lower number) since I despise Tulsi far more than many of the people who suspiciously ranked better than me. I mean, whoever made the list said I was BAD BAD BAD. That’s 3 bads. Nobody else got 3 fucking bads. I should have been in the top ten. The makers of that ranking chart need to have a fucking seat.

As you know, I often call on people who are “doing the most” to have between a million and a billion seats, for many very good reasons. One helpful reason is they need to sit their asses the entire fuck down and shut that shit the complete fuck up. Like, they need to do it right fucking now. This includes “Democratic” candidates for the Presidency, like the always annoying and never quiet Bernie Sanders, and even my boy Beto (how could you? I forgive you because you’re not Bernie, but stop it). Sigh. Strange bedfellows.

That’s not all that’s strange about this “Hillary Called Me A Russian Asset On A Podcast” story that Tulsi Gabbard and the entire media have been weaving. The strangest part is that Hillary never actually said Tulsi was a Russian asset at all. Recall, I wrote a thing about that very thing last week and in that piece I made sure to highlight the fact that I actually LISTENED to the actual fucking podcast so that I actually heard what Hillary was actually saying instead of trusting anyfuckingbody in the media to transcribe anything Hillary says for me. There is this weird thing in the media where they focused an extraordinarily extreme amount of time on Hillary’s boring ass emails while pretty much giving Donald Trump a pass, normalizing him even, and it made me not trust a fucking thing they said in regard to Hillary.

Since Bernie obviously only reads above the fold, never listened to the podcast, and is likely bitter about losing to Hillary, he forcefully defended Tulsi from shit Hillary didn’t say. Let me remind you that Bernie called Hillary unqualified based on a headline saying she called him unqualified, but she had never said THAT at all.

I suppose it might be outrageous if anybody had actually said it, Gramps. You look like an asshole who is still bitter about being beat by a woman.

Other people who can have seats: Marianne “Queen of the Moon People” Williamson, Andrew “Don’t Circumcise Your Baby’s Wang” Yang, Jill “Remember When I Punked Y’all Out of Recount Money” Stein, Van “I Block Black People Because They Read My Ass” Jones, and even Cory “I Think About My Girlfriend All Day” Booker and Pete “I’m Friends With Zuckerberg Who Sold The Last Election To Trump” Buttigieg jumped all the hell over Hillary to defend Tulsi and they can each have about a Trillion seats. 

Raw Story:

President Donald Trump has attacked former Sec. Hillary Clinton over the weekend for trying to blame Russia for everything. In fact, The New York Times story that quoted an interview with Clinton mistakenly alleged the quote. It was incorrect and The Times has fixed their error.

Clinton never said Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI) was being “groomed” by the “Russians,” according to an update from The Times.

Oops!!! I suppose everyone who attacked Hillary for saying Tulsi was a Russian asset will hurry up and apologize for their grievous error that has the potential to destroy Hillary’s reputation? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!! Yeah right. Rarely does anyone apologize to Hillary or even admit to making a mistake in whatever bullshit they spread about her.

Republicans were ‘grooming’ her as a third-party candidate,” The Times said in a corrected report (emphasis from RawStory).

Oh, what’s this? REPUBLICANS were grooming Tulsi? Why don’t we have a million articles and candidates who I’ll never vote for coming out and defending Tulsi on THAT? Is it because it’s kinda obvious since Trump wanted to give her a job, she’s a DINO, she goes on Fox to rail against Democrats, and has a 1990s view on abortion.


I haven’t even gotten to the strangest part of Tulsi’s gyrations over Hillary not saying she was being groomed by the Russians: Tulsi seems to think she can compete with Hillary for some reason.

“It’s now clear that this primary is between you and me,” Gabbard tweeted about Clinton. “Don’t cowardly hide behind your proxies. Join the race directly.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Tulsi. What the fuck kind of weed are they growing in Hawaii? I know they usually have the fire, but damn boo, it makes YOU say dumb ass shit.

From Washington Post:

Defenders of Gabbard, including those on the right and the populist left who regularly oppose the Democratic establishment, may attempt to color Clinton’s critiques of the lawmaker as bitterness coupled with the former secretary of state’s desire to bolster a more centrist candidate’s campaign. But experts in the field of Russian interference view manipulations of Gabbard’s campaign as potentially harmful to the 2020 election in ways that are similar to the previous election. And for those who are concerned about the integrity of the U.S. election process, that is a much bigger issue than Gabbard’s personal feelings.

Hi. This is not about your stupid ass personal feelings about Hillary anymore, this is about our Democracy, something Many of these very important people who defended Gabbard all profess to care about deeply. The media seems to be stuck on trying to prove they were right to treat Hillary like shit while giving Donald Trump a free pass on all of his faults. I’m tired of this shit, so the media can have 100 trillion fucking seats.


Washington Post


Tulsi’s Not Running For Congress Again And She’ll Never Be President, So, Bye Tulsi!

Bye, Tulsi!! I see that you just posted a tweet thread about 30 minutes ago saying you’re not going to run for another term in Congress. I, for one, am delighted with your decision. It is literally THE BEST thing you have ever done for The People.

Here is the silly ass thread Tulssad just posted:

BYE!!!!!!!!!! Honestly, you dont need to wait until November 2020 to vacate your seat. You’re never at work to do your job anyway, you seem rather delusional, and there are still plenty of job openings in the Trump Administration. This totally reminds me of that time Sarah Palin resigned as my Governor after she lost to Obama and Biden. She never did go on to bigger and better things. We are still waiting.


No Thanks!!!! You are so one track minded that literally all you talk about is the military, and that’s not good enough. Being in the military is an honorable thing and I DO thank you for your service, ma’am. Yet, I am not a person who believes that military service is enough to qualify ANYONE to be President of the United States of America. I also do not see it as a requirement. In fact, I see an obsession with war, friendships with dictators, and the repetition of the phrase “Wars of Regime Change” to be particularly DISqualifying.


That’s nice, dear. I get that you really really hate when we topple dictators or give the people any assistance so that they can topple them themselves, and like Donald, you hate being the world police. Too bad for you we do not all agree that the worst thing is intervening in situations where these dictators you hate us toppling are slaughtering their own people for defying them. I’m sure I can think of interventions we should have done, like when the UN was informed in 1993 that Hutus were planning a genocide of the Tutsi population of Rwanda that was set to begin in January of 1994. By April 1994, Hutus began to systematically slaughter the Tutsis at a rate of about 8,000 per day. We could have stopped it. We did not. All told ~1,000,000 members of the Tutsi minority population were slaughtered. To do things your way, ma’am, is to ignore that which makes us human: Empathy. This is how I know you are a Cylon.


No. I don’t live in your district, but we are in the same timezone, so, I will just say no so loud nobody will want to say anything that might set me off because I’m crazy as catshit when it comes to you and NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. If I see people around me saying yes to you, I will have to troll them most efficiently by saying NO until they knock that shit off in my presence. Hell no.


Goodbye, Tulsi. Please drop out.

Everyone That Stood Up To Hillary For Tulsi Needs To Have About A Million Seats—Remix

Time for everyone to have infinity seats.

I am re-posting this piece because Tulsi Gabbard is pretty much in her own world, so I wanted everyone to take a look back at the world as it actually was when “The Incident” happened. Just like before, everyone and their Mama is out there losing their goddamn minds on social media, and the actual media is CLUELESS AS FUCK. I’ve been checking out various blogs and sites where this story about Hillary calling Tulsi a “Russian Asset” is posted. So far NO GOOD. This morning The Tulsicabra announced the she is filing or has filed a lawsuit on Hillary Clinton for defamation. I said, “wait, what?” Because I usually have a kick ass memory, I felt a bit nervous when I didn’t see anyone mentioning that Tulsi’s version of that interview was not factual. And also, Hillary never even said the woman’s name.


Okay, I know you don’t actually have to say the name for there to be a case, but whatever. Just read the post. Continue reading

I said Tulsi Gabbard Is A Trashy Garbage Person and Russia Tried To Hack My Blog

I really do not like Tulsi Gabbard. At all. It’s not her looks, her plastic mannerisms, or her constant need to define “Aloha!” for all and sundry. The superficial taunts I periodically lob her way are just a manifestation of my inability to articulate the many and varied ways she bothers me. I do not like her personality, her double talk, her coldness, or her deceptive nature.

I said I wasn’t going to start out railing against Tulsi for personal or superficial defects, or do that thing where we obsessively critique the clothing, grooming, and make-up choices of the women running for President. So, I promise I won’t. Although I’d love to beat my friend Chris to the punch in starting the “Liz Warren Auntie MacGillicuddy Campaign Sweater Blog” and the “Why does Tulsi Wear Body Glitter? Blog” or even the “What’s Pete Wearing Today? Oh, Samesies? Blog” it would not have been fair to do so while also publishing the “Kamala Looks Queen Again Today Blog” or so I have been told. The “Bernie Got A New Shirt, Wow. Blog” is on hold as well.

I’m not really snitty enough to actually write any of these blogs, but I am snitty enough to write this blog post about Tulsi Fucking Gabbard, and how she needs to drop the fuck out of the race and spare me the bullshit of Shawna’s trolling and these fucking Russians trying to hack my goddamn blog. Shawna is a Gabbard-stan who often claims we are anti-religious bigots, just so I can remind her that I’m an atheist and would probably have been executed by her religious folks back in the day, or at least been shunned to death. I do not enjoy conversations with her. She is mean. But I digress. Tulsi. Is. Trash. Garbage. Rubbish. Basura. And that’s just facts.

Let me tell you why we are even discussing this woman who many didn’t know existed until this weekend: Hillary Clinton. You’re Goddamn right we wouldn’t be talking about her if it weren’t for Hillary, this is because people pay attention whenever Hillary speaks. Tulsi knows this, and just by being mentioned she saw an opportunity to take some of Hillary’s shine, and rub it all over her bony chest like cheap ass body glitter. Now she gets to play the innocent victim of Hillary the Assassin, and BOY is she milking the fuck out of that shit.

Hillary Clinton sat on down with David Plouffe, who worked for Obama at one point, for an interview on his Campaign HQ podcast. If you have watched any news or spent the shortest amount of time on social media since Friday, you have probably witnessed dicks falling off left and right. This interview is why.

Let me first say that I listened to the entire podcast, I am actually listening to it again right now. I did not hear the name Tulsi Gabbard come up. Maybe I just missed it, maybe it was obvious who Hillary was talking about, and maybe too, Gabbard has just a teeny weeny little bit of guilt in her trip that led her to melt the whole fuck down.

Here is what Hillary actually said.

From NYT:

“I’m not making any predictions,” she said, “but I think they’ve got their eye on somebody who is currently in the Democratic primary and are grooming her to be the third-party candidate. She’s the favorite of the Russians. They have a bunch of sites and bots and other ways of supporting her so far.”

Okay. I can see how this clearly refers to Gabbard, because she is the only woman getting this extreme amount of support from these troll storms. They are definitely NOT supporting Kamala Harris, she’s Black. And she’s a cop who will arrest them, I suppose.

And this part too:

She did not name Ms. Gabbard in that interview, but her target was clear. Nick Merrill, a spokesman for Mrs. Clinton, told NBC News, “if the nesting doll fits,” when he was asked to confirm that Mrs. Clinton had been referring to Ms. Gabbard.

Heh. Nesting dolls.

And this too was worth many epic melodramas:

Mr. Merrill said late Friday evening that Mrs. Clinton’s initial “grooming” claim had referred to Republicans, not Russia, as initially reported. Mrs. Clinton then brought up Russia in the podcast interview, saying Ms. Gabbard was the Kremlin’s preferred candidate.

Okay, so, I am still looking for the lies? I haven’t even heard Tulsi answer the question on whether she is a part of a Russian Sleeper Cell or not.

From Crooks and Liars:

TUCKER: So just to the factual point first, are you a Russian sleeper cell?

Note that he asked her a “Yes or No” question.

GABBARD: Look, here, let me tell you what this is about. This is about Hillary Clinton sending a very strong message, saying that because I am and have long been calling for an end to our country’s foreign policy of waging one regime change war after the next, the likes of which we’ve seen in Iraq, in Libya and ongoing in Syria. And because I’m calling for an end to this new Cold War and nuclear arms race, that I am a Russian asset and that I am a traitor to the nation that I love. (Um? She said the GOP was grooming you.)
And not only are they saying that about me, they are basically saying — sending this message out to every veteran in this country, every Service Member, every American, anyone watching at home who was fighting for peace and who was calling for an end to these regime change wars, this new Cold War and arms race, they are saying that you are also a Russian asset and that you are also a traitor to this country. That’s really what’s happening here.


No that is the fuck not what’s happening, Tulsi, please go fuck yourself. I don’t know why she’s trying to include EVERY SERVICE MEMBER who doesn’t hang out with Assad or side with Trump concerning Russia, so I am going to guess she did it because she’s hot fucking garbage. Also?

How the fuck is that an answer?

Nobody asked your ass all that, Gabbard. He asked your trash ass if you were a goddamn sleeper cell. Apparently, Gabbard went to the Liz Warren school of answering “Yes or No” questions, which means she talks about tangentially related concepts and ideals, yet never answers the question.

I was so certain that nobody would fall for this basic ass bullshit that I wrote this tweet:

Um, why doesn’t it have 20 million likes? Because Americans are fucking ridiculous. Why do I say this? Because.

Yes. Not only did people start stabbing Hillary in the back, but I retweeted my own tweet out of pure exasperation with the Hillary Haters. And this was in the midst of some dangerously idiotic virtue signalling from Trump and some of the Dem candidates, and of course, the ever present wailing and gnashing of teeth that ensues when Jill Stein talks.

Here is what Trump had to say:

“So now Crooked Hillary is at it again! She is calling Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard ‘a Russian favorite,’ and Jill Stein ‘a Russian asset.’

“As you may have heard, I was called a big Russia lover also (actually, I do like Russian people. I like all people!). Hillary’s gone Crazy!”


Jill Stein’s grifty ass just had to get her digs in too:

“I am not a Russian spy,” Stein said Saturday on CNN’s Smerconish. “I think this is a completely unhinged conspiracy theory for which there is absolutely no basis in fact. Not for myself and not for Tulsi Gabbard. I think it’s really outrageous that Hillary Clinton is trying to promote this crazy idea.”

Oh look! Jill Stein 2016 is defending Jill Stein 2020!! Big Surprise. And she is totally making shit up.

Nobody called your foolish ass a fucking SPY, Lady! She said ASSET, as in USEFUL IDIOT, she was just trying to be fucking professional. Just shut up.

Nina Turner woke up to the drama, apparently, and didn’t really seem to know WTF was going on, but she said some stuff that I suppose kinda fit.

Yes, I  have her blocked. No, she never bothered me, I just block her and Susan Sarandon in case I talk about them and they vanity search. Susan does that. She has done it to me, so, I refuse to say allegedly.

Next Tulsi, like the Garbage Pail Kid we always knew she was, ran her ass to Fox News, her natural home, to cry and cry and cry for attention. When that only got her sympathy from Van Jones, Andrew Yang, Marianne Williamson, and Beto, she decided to film her Cri de Coeur, probably to try to boost her poll numbers.

None of that shit she said was relevant, much was inaccurate, and some of it was just bizarre as fuck. I’m sorry, but she sounds paranoid as hell, I have not seen Hillary running around talking about Tulsi. One last thing, why the fuck does she always make everything about her military service when it was in no way related to her military service? Good god.

I would have written this up before, but I have been sick. Bronchitis always knocks me down, so I have about ten half written or nearly all written blog posts that just sucked ass because I’m in a mental fog.

Or, I WAS in a mental fog, until I got an alert to my email while I was laying in bed DRAGGING Tulsi on Twitter, like I had been doing for the previous 24 or so hours. The message said I needed to check out some “security issue” on my blog domain, and since I have no fucking clue how to do so, I hurried to log in and try. The log showed that someone had spent the past 2 nights trying their damnedest to guess my password. I dont even know my password, how the fuck were they gonna guess it?

Who could it be that was sooooo eager to hack into my basic ass blog? I’m not famous, nor do I want to be, so why would there be 40 attempts to get in and fuck my shit up? Who was it?

Fucking Russia. Ukraine (Russia). Belarus (Russia).


Don’t worry, I added additional security. Isn’t it strange that while Tulsi is telling the world “Not A Puppet! You’re The Puppet!” and I was dragging her natural ass for it, Russia decided to attack my lil punk ass blog? Sure, I have a big fucking mouth, this is known. But attacking me is just going to piss me off, bitches. I can ALWAYS buy a new domain, write more posts, and annoy the shit out of every Putin Puppet on the planet. So, for all of you assholes saying Russia isn’t on Tulsa’s side, we have no proof, and stop smearing her?


No. She’s a fucking risk I am not willing to take, presenting evidence isn’t smearing, and Tulsi Gabbard is weird as shit.



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Tulsi Lied About The Jazz Cigarette Arrests; Harris Didn’t Harsh California’s Weed Mellow

Let’s Talk About Tulsi

You may have already heard that Tulsi Gabbard did not qualify for last night’s debate. Oh, no. Maybe you even had a “Tulsi did not qualify” party. We were NOT heartbroken to see that she couldn’t show out by rapidly firing a series of half-truths at Kamala Harris. Additionally, we were gladdened that she wasn’t there to set another shit-fire on the debate stage. Yay! 

She lies.

Does she not care about such vaunted human values as honor, integrity, and truth? Perhaps a better question is, why didn’t she learn to fake these human attributes during her time in Iraq? You know the one about how Tulsi was suddenly struck by some amazing magic miracle during her war years and… 

Poof! She instantly learned how to not hate “the gay” openly and venomously anymore. Magic. This was a complete departure from that time when she, as a member of the Hawaii State House, argued against an anti-bullying program for LGBTQ youth.  She bullied them from the halls of their own government.

Kamala Harris never bullied LGBTQ school children from the fucking State House Floor, like some kind of a deviant child-abuser.

Right, T?
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