My Sh*tty Pillow CEO Banned From Twitter Permanently for Being Batsh*t Crazy

A trump cameo in the dirt

Photo by Max Letek on Unsplash

Hello, and welcome to the 1st annual Batshit Crazy Olympics. I’m your host, Bianca de la Rosa, and I am soooo enjoying the predictable, yet ever delicious series of meltdowns from MAGAnon. When QANON and MAGA merged into that incestuous bamboozle of Insurrectiony Sedition, I had no idea that the Treason Weasels would melt the fuck down so entirely gloriously. Well, I should have known, because my neighbor had 4 huge ass Trump banners on his chain link fence until he caught me laughing and pointing at his house and calling him a Klondike Klanner. Then he took the two facing my house down, and hasn’t been able to look me in the face since. But, don’t worry, he still has two up, because, check it: Trump can still win this thing. Or so my neighbor thinks.

Another old fuck who still probably has his Trump 2020 “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!” banner up is the soon to be late (Probably, okay?), not great, Mr. Mike Lindell. Twitter has finally drop kicked the My Pillow CEO, Lindell, the hell off it’s platform, and they don’t plan on ever reinstating him after his antics this past week. This may have been a long time coming since the social media giant has already issued a statement about the shitty pillow Mogul, where they confirmed that his ban is most certainly a permanent thing.

A spokesperson for Twitter said, “This account was suspended for repeated violations of our civic integrity policy.” Twitter confirmed late Monday that the ban on the entrepreneur from Minnesota is a permanent one.

Lindell has been a vocal backer of Trump, and reports surfaced earlier this month that he suggested the president declare martial law in the wake of what he saw as widespread election fraud.

Lindell alleged that the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion Voting Systems were part of a conspiracy to rig the election against Trump. Upon threat of lawsuit from Dominion, Lindell told the New York Times: “I would really welcome them to sue me because I have all the evidence against them.”

Oh, please, Mike. You have not managed to produce a fucking thing in the past two months, so you’d best be quiet before they make good on their lawsuit threat. I don’t know how you’ll manage to sell enough of those flat as fuck, yet surprisingly lumped up pillows, to pay the restitution and whatnot, so… No, really. Keep going, I like where this is headed.

Lindell is known to be considering a possible run for governor of Minnesota in 2022. The ban from Twitter would complicate his effort to reach voters.

Is everyone we don’t like running for Governor of somewhere? We have that liar, Sarah Huckabee Sanders running in Arkansas, and now this pillow fool wants to run in Minnesota. It would be just our luck if Trump decided to make his lackey DeSantis resign so he could run for Governor of Florida immediately.

Last year, Twitter held to its permanent ban of Laura Loomer despite her winning the Republican primary in a long-shot bid for Florida’s 21st Congressional District. “The account owner you referenced was permanently suspended for repeated violations of the Twitter Rules, and we do not plan to reverse that enforcement action,” the company said in a statement at the time.

Hahahahahaha! Remember when Laura Loomer handcuffed herself to the door at Twitter, but it could still open and close so they decided to just ignore her? That was some funny ass shit.

https://twitter.com/willsommer/status/1068244727298953216

Lol! Maybe Trump, Loomer, My Pillow Guy, and Milo Yiannopoulos can all get together and do a class action lawsuit and force Twitter to let them back on? Yeah, no, I fucking doubt Twitter would even give them the time of day, and the courts are unlikely to side with them regardless of the Office of the Former President attempting to use his limited power to force the issue. It’s interesting how being banned from Twitter instantly turns republicans into straight up clowns. The purge is not over yet, so lets see who gets banned by the time we all wake up tomorrow. The quicker we silence and marginalize these QAnon Clowns, the quicker we can get back to regular GOP bullshit like Benghazi.

THE REVOLUTION WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER, NATE SILVER.

If you’ve been on Dem Primary Twitter the past two days you may have noticed a complete fucking meltdown going on over fake shit. The wailings and gnashings of teeth by Bernie’s disciples are so utterly obnoxious at this point that even if they had started out on the right side of things (they didn’t) they’ve acted too stupidly foolish for anyone with even half a brain to concede ANY point by now. It’s at the point now where I’m ready to call out a heartfelt RIP and pour out a 40 of Old E for Bernie’s dead ass campaign. Is this bullshit EVER going to end? Even Susan Sarandon, who I do not love, made her obnoxious ass voice heard on this bullshit ass manufactured never-ending issue. It’s PANDEMONIUM!!

It all started with that mild-mannered statistics nerd, Nate Silver typing words. But… Why get mad? He’s not even half as hyperactive as that other nerd, Steve Kornacki, (who loves numbers so much he seems positively giddy when explaining how bad we’re going to lose) yet we don’t bother to get mad at Kornacki.

What has Nate done that is so wrong? I’ll tell you. Nate Silver has gone and done what most of the media refuses to bother with—he told Bernie that his campaign is failing, AND—- he said a magic bad Mc RACIST word. He said…Residue.

Residue? Um? Since when has residue been a racist term?

Since Bernie’s campaign started failing.

Okay, so maybe your finely tuned racism detector missed the racism in the residue? Mine too. Could it be you’re more concerned with words that actually have a history of being used in a racially derogatory way? Perhaps you remember that time Bernie wrote a book where he used much worse language? Yeah.

This cycle, unlike 2016 when Hillary had a lock on the Black Vote, Berners have been bragging about how much more diverse Bernie’s movement is. They’ve replaced that tired old 2017 Harvard Harris poll with polls showing how much PoC just love Uncle Struggle Chicken. It’s legit annoying because NOBODY actually asks them or invites them over for any conversation whatsoever.

Nate of Obvious-ville simply pointed out the obvious to one of the random Diversity Bros, take a look.

 

Nate is right.

All Nate was saying is that white voters are fleeing Bernie’s rude, yelling self for Warren’s tiny Power Fisted “We gotta fight!” speeches and Okie shrugs, therefore the Struggle Berners who remain simply SEEM darker. Old Man River did not actually attract one extra dark person to his movement.

Nate even “put it another way” and explained further.

 

Basically, white folks noticed the ship was sinking first and started jumping the fuck off before PoC began backing away slowly and getting the fuck on out of there. So, sure, the remainder is concentrated with the PoC who haven’t headed overboard off the Berning ship.

 

Nerd joke! Heh. Is de Blasio still running? If so, I dreamed he dropped out, if not, stop bringing him up, we need a few more to quietly follow him.

So, this series of tweets by Nate Silver did not bother me one damn bit. I saw them, got my usual schadenfreude fix from Bernie’s ruin, and kept it pushing. Soooo… Why the fuck did these assholes make “Residue” trend? BECAUSE OF THE RACISM!!! Brie Brie named herself something stupid as hell, Residue Rococo  Racism, maybe. She has an art degree. I think. I refuse to look it up, so, don’t bother correcting me if I’m wrong.

I don’t care.

My first thought upon hearing Nate Silver suddenly became Nathan Bedford Forrest was literally, “Uh oh! Spaghetti-o! Uncle Struggle called us N*ggers in his book, tho!” I mean, really. He did.

From Mediaite:

[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]“For a hundred years, the white workers of the South were the most exploited white workers in America. They were paid the lowest wages, they endured the worst working conditions, their housing was abysmal, their kids went to the most backward schools, and very few could send their children to college. But what did they have? They were given ‘niggers’ to hate and look down on, ‘niggers’ who couldn’t vote, drink at their water fountains, use the same bathrooms, or sit up front in the buses or movie theaters.”[/perfectpullquote]

Poor racist White People! They have so many burdens, luckily, Bernie completely sympathizes with their racism, and also, shows he knows how to use racial slurs for absolutely no reason. Just like them!

Is the word Bernie used the actual magic bad Mc RACIST word? Well, I can see why you don’t like that very much. I don’t like it much myself. Shameful.

But…..

Guess what?

I will have you know that when Bernie does something you don’t like, you’re just a stupid fucking assbag for not appreciating how much Bernie has done for you. He HAD to use that word for the shock value, especially since it’s been told better in various ways by many different people since ~1968 without using that word.

People have told it far better, way funnier, in a more compelling way, and it was received better by ALL people since they weren’t triggering Black People to absolve poor Whites of responsibility for being the field agents of White Supremacy.

Nina had no idea what the fuck was going on, and I’m sure Bernie would have picked her for VP, so that’s kinda troubling.

What is Brie Brie’s job? All I ever see her do is troll people on Twitter, send swarms after Dems, and quote tweet “bad supporters” of other candidates to prove Berners are not that bad because other people are bad too.

Nate doesn’t seem to be concerned with the Chads who are crying in his mentions about how much racial pain their white asses are in over how Brie Brie feels about them all being residue. Because he meant ALL of them, not just the dark ones. So, this whole thing is a made-up controversy, and the tantrum is fake too. I’m still scratching my head on why they thought we were all going to fall for it just because they tried it.

 

We are now at the Area 51 Qanon phase of Residue-gate. Yay.

There’s always a conspiracy in Bernie-land, some new oppression that they made up for Bernie to use as an excuse for not winning is inevitable. Berners STAY blaming media outlets, pundits, the DNC, and Neera Tanden; every time Bernie drops in a poll, the bratty ones show up to claim victimhood for Bernie. Pretty sure they have Bernie’s full blessing since he does the same ass shit.

 

SHHHAAAADE!!!!!! Nerd shade is so matter of fact that I believe no more needs to be said. Bernie’s campaign is failing, his supporters are annoying, and “residue” is a term used in statistics, not some new wunderkind way of being racist. I’ll be the first one to admit, I will not be sad to see the end of this failed Sanders campaign. Uncle Struggle Chicken gave it his best shot.

His best just isn’t good enough.

 

Heavy

 

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